Live it, Learn it

Honestly, I’ve run out of topics now. I don’t go out, I don’t watch TV, I don’t go for movies, working out is out of question and I have stopped reading completely. Usually that happens when you’ve broken up with someone. I happened to have got a job!!

This unfortunate incident happened the day I came back from Vrindavan(okay, Bubu and I went to Vrindavan again for the weekend early this month, but certain things that happened there are not commercially viable, so would keep at that) and received a call from some consultant informing me about a post open at Kotak Mahindra Bank. I didn’t care about the post, I was more concerned about the brand name, and went for the interview that very day. A few questions later(which to my surprise, came to know were all true), I was hired and told that I wont be on the bank’s payroll. I didn’t care again. Now, I am suffering.

Vandana, a dear friend of mine(clearly overstating ‘dear friend’), who got through in JP Morgan told me, these days banks do not employ plain graduates, they outsource the work to consultancies and therefore, no graduate is on the bank’s payroll. Which means, there would be no Offer letter from the bank, but from the consultancy. Now this’ something I fail to understand, will a graduate who thrives on his credit card for ‘impulse purchases’ and knows Grana Padano is not a car actually require a job with a bank that barely pays his monthly expenditure? We all join somewhere post-graduation for the name, the experience to show in our CV, but if we have to write we worked for some consultancy who served at a bank, what purpose does that serve us anyway?

I gave myself a deadline, a month here and I’m joining some course that will land me in a bank/company’s payroll. I never got to understand why I was never interested to do what others were/are still doing, MBA. A few of us don’t even know the full-form and want to do it!! Coming back to the topic, which I now realized I haven’t set in this post, I now declare myself satisfied with life. I have stopped complaining, I’m working, have an aim in life, I want to study, and it’s the first time I have told myself that in my 21 years old pathetic life.
Relationship side, it’s the same old story. But then, we get to read ‘happily ever after’s only in books, don’t we?


Job: Credit Processing Associate(CPA), Business Loans, Kotak Mahindra
Occupational Hazard: Sore eyes and continuous approvals from parents(even to not coming back home at nights).

Deciphering "..."

With my tickets for Delhi confirmed(in 'Garib' 'Rath' for tomorrow) and kept for days and my shopping not at all complete for days, I went on a low-carbs-high-shopping diet today. Especially after seeing Bubu(my partner for the trip) fall sick to a liver problem, I started ignoring all the street-side food stalls, and kept my eyes open to find something good. All in vein(that is, I ended up eating all trash and didn't buy anything for myself), I went to my someone's place and the person in particular made wonderful dinner, after which I helped here and there. "Someone" has been mentioned in my second post and as I'd said, we had not exchanged those three golden words clearly yet. However, after some realisation that Bubu had packed all his belongings and had already hit the sack, and I had the entire packing to do and catch up on some sleep too, to prepare myself for the 18 hours journey, I decided to leave.

Once out, I received a text from my someone which read "..."! Now I remember when I'd said 'I love you' in a very careless way, I'd sent the message as "........". If I decrypted the message right, I should be shouting from the top of the roof right now! I couldn't control myself, but decided to reply in the same careless way,"... .", the fourth dot being "too", still thinking if I'm right. Was it 'I like you'?

Anyway, I headed home nervous whether I'd be able to complete all my work on time! I'm pretty excited about the trip. So, see you after 10 days, if Bubu's liver doesn't get in the way.

Lethargic, helpless..

With so much going on in my life right now since my exams ended(actually, I have just leisured all this while!!), I didn't find much time for anything. Anything is what all I had planned on doing after my exams.

Top priority was to begin with my gym routine again, but well, you could find that update in my Health Diary.
Second was throwing a surprise birthday party for someone which's fast approaching. When the exams were on, I constantly kept in touch with Nigella Lawson in Travel & Living as she made exotic fine dining stuff. And I'm not at all friends with the kitchen. I can hardly light the gas. And pulling off a 6 course meal would prove to be a Herculean task for me. I really need practice of these recipes for atleast a month before I can deliver a not so bad dinner party, but so far I have hardly come across any recipe that would interest me.
Third priority in the list was to re-invent myself. Okay, now the word screaming in your brains would be "LOSER", but I'm simply tired of looking tired and ****ed up! I really need a change in my dressing sense, some reading to improve my hold on the language I'm writing in, read more current affairs, and enroll myself with a course related to my field.
So far, I could not even decide which field I'm interested in.

I've realised I am going no where. I didn't do anything since my exams ended a month ago and I really need to buck up now, or else I'd only end up looking more skinny with no behind, gift a shabby b'day present(probably a book or a perfume....eeeooww, he deserves much better than that!) and keep posting write-ups with grammatical errors here and head no where.

I'm helpless!

Avil : Cure for Infidelity

I can not help but remember the episode from Desperate Housewives where one of the housewives, Bree Van-De-Camp, a doting and faithful wife whose husband was killed after George, his chemist adulterated his medication with pills that contained high levels of Potassium so he could die a "Natural death" as George had developed feelings for Bree and could not have her with her husband in the picture. She was not party to it but got blamed for intoxicating her husband later.
However, after the death scene and the 'life moves on'/'I think I really like you, Bree' scenes, one fine evening, Bree invites George over for Dinner and without further ado, George starts to kiss Bree, gets really wild and worked up, soon to find out Bree developing hives everywhere he's touched her(Eeeeeowwww!).

Last night, I met someone. And my girl still doesn't know about this. Maybe she will, after she reads this. I thought if she could think of straying(Even though she's not my Girlfriend yet, officially), so could I. It was my first time since I met her.
At 12 am, I meet Ms. X and we go to her apartment. "Without further ado", we undress......... and well, I really don't want moderators flagging my blog!
I am fighting inside of me thinking this is not right, I am not doing the right thing, I don't belong here, I want to go home, should be sleeping now with both my brains at rest. Robbie Williams once said, God gave men two brains, but only enough blood to run one at a time!!
Anyway, I try to ignore all my emotions of guilt/anger/regret and go for the slender plum cake served in front of me.................. soon to find my whole face red, small red welts spread all over my chest, shoulder and back. I tell her, "I don't know what I'm doing here". She turns to me and says, "Baby, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do".

She gets up thinking what she would have at this hour to cure the hives.
After thoroughly checking through her drawer, she comes back with a glass of water and a pill named Avil in her hand.
"Honey, I think you should take a shower, you'd feel better".
I get into the bathroom, my mind working faster than ever. Did Bree really feel what I was feeling? Did she try to suppress all those emotions running all over her head at that moment which led to the reaction? She loved her husband no doubt, she cared for him, even when he didn't care to return the same passion for her and slept with another neighbour who happened to give him what he wanted in bed.

I took a shower, dissatisfied with the itching still on. She tells me, "Don't worry, you didn't get it from me. I'm sure your body's reacted to some food." I know what it is.
She lays down at one end of the bed, me at another, discussing each other's relationship issues, both of us ignoring the fact that this's the last time we'd be seeing each other. The allergy subsides slowly.
She wakes me up at 9 in the morning, I get dressed and begin to leave, "You're a good guy, she must be very lucky".
"If I was that good, I wouldn't really be here hearing you say this." I felt the allergy under my Tee say hello again.

I came home, thinking whether I should really call her and tell her what happened. That nothing really happened!! But as Carrie Bradshaw once opined, everything before 'I love you' just doesn't count.

Trial & Error

I have only heard of people creating blogs and have seen a few mention "View my blog" in their profiles, but never ever came across any friend of mine who owned any blog in this or any other site(Which makes me come to a serious decision that I need a change in my circle of friends, nobody is literate enough to boast having a blog...shaah!!).

The silly News channels had reported Amitabh Bachchan and Aamir Khan bitching about each other and Shah Rukh Khan respond to the two women fighting, but could never imagine myself log on and check it for myself, untill the other day, I happened to view someone's profile in a social networking site and clicked the hyperlink he had made available there. And OH-MY-GOD, he had written anything, simply anything. Which made me think I could too do the same thing, use the internet for writing diaries, and hence help save paper, and contribute in preventing Global Warming!!

Now, with my weak English lingo and my father forcing me to read more books to control my stammering while speaking at times made me think if I really should plan on owning a blog of my own to show people I am "in"!! But on second thought (that no one would even care to read the crap I'll be writing) I decided to go for it.

If I'm successful, I shall write further, if not, who cares!!
And incase I emerge as a star someday, maybe like Sanjaya Malakar(Shitty American Idol season 6) or if some shemale designer/photographer recognises me on the streets and turns me into the next super model later turned Actor, later turned Indian version of Brangelina(With a Compatibility chart better than Saif Uncle-Kareena Didi), I need to leave behind some matter for E-News to report on!!

Hence the blog!